Meet Naruto Uzumaki
by Saxofoni
Summary: Death goes by many titles, but in this story, it goes by the name of Naruto Uzumaki.
1. Meet Naruto Uzumaki

**Meet Naruto Uzumaki**

Chapter 1: Meet Naruto Uzumaki

* * *

"_Your time is nearing," _a voice commented inside Jiraiya's head. It wasn't the oddest thing to have happened in his life, but he'd be lying if he said it hadn't startled him. He could have sworn he was alone in the forest he was about to die in, but perhaps a member of the Yamanaka clan had stumbled upon him.

"Who're you?" he gasped out. He could feel his strength draining with each breath he took and he knew he didn't have long.

"_You know who I am."_

"I do?" He wasn't on personal terms with any Yamanaka, and the ones he _had_ met he couldn't remember the names of.

"Yes."

The conversation was halted as Jiraiya began to cough up blood. "I need a medic."

"I cannot help you, your time has come."

Jiraiya figured as much, but to hear it was slightly depressing. _Damn you, Orochimaru_, he cursed in his mind. If he hadn't chased after the nuke-nin, he wouldn't be in this predicament. He hadn't thought Orochimaru would truly aim to kill him, they had been teammates… His naivety knew no bounds it seemed.

"_Orochimaru…"_ the voice stated curiously. _"The one who seeks immortality…"_

_What other Orochimaru is there?_ Jiraiya thought to himself. He would have said it aloud, but he found he could not gather the energy it took to form the words.

"_There is only one."_ Belatedly, the sanin realized whoever was in his mind could read his thoughts. He, of course, blamed his obliviousness on the lack of blood circulating through his system. "He tries to escape me, but now… you are my solution. You will take me to Orochimaru."

Jiraiya gurgled a scoff before replying. _I'm dying. Besides, I don't know where he is._

"You _will_ take me to him, and in return I will let you live for a while longer."

_Let me live…? _Jiraiya questioned dimly.

"_For your help, yes."_

_But to do that, you'd have to be…_

"…_Death, exactly. Help me, and I will help you."_

* * *

Jiraiya woke up to the sounds of birds chirping and the morning sun beaming down on his face. He rubbed his head as a headache set in and sat up tiredly. "What a weird dream," he muttered to himself.

"What dream?" a male voice questioned. Jiraiya's eyes snapped open at the unfamiliar voice, and what he saw nearly gave him a heart attack. It was a man with spiky blond hair that held a close resemblance to his dead student.

"M-Minato?"

The Minato clone tilted his head in curiosity like a young pup, and that one movement let Jiraiya know it wasn't his deceased student. It wasn't in his student's mannerisms, and he'd known the guy for years. "The one who lies in my stomach…"

The gears in Jiraiya's head stopped, and then began spinning in overtime. _'The one who lies in my stomach,'_ he had said. Who said something like that, unless… Jiraiya was bombarded with the moments leading to him waking. The guy he had thought was a strange Yamanaka had called himself… death. The toad sage had thought it was a dream – he was alive after all – but it seemed he'd been mistaken. Jiraiya narrowed his eyes at the… entity. "Why're you here?"

"I have come for the soul of the one called Orochimaru," Death explained in an emotionless voice. He stood frozen like a statue, and if Jiraiya hadn't just witnessed him speak, he would have thought his student's clone to be petrified. His eyes didn't blink nor did his chest rise and fall with life, and it was unnerving. The guy was the living dead, no pun intended.

"He's not here." Jiraiya didn't want _Death_ around any longer than necessary.

"You will lead me to him as stated in our deal."

Now that Death brought it up, Jiraiya vaguely recalled something about finding Orochimaru in exchange for life, but he couldn't do that to Orochimaru… could he? The man had been his teammates for years, his best friend since his earlier days as a genin. He couldn't just _sell_ the information he had on Orochimaru, it wouldn't be right. The guy had saved his life more times than he liked to admit… but then again, he had also tried to end it. The snake sannin had, in a blatant display, thrown away their friendship for his ambitions… had tried to kill him and nearly succeeded. This was also the man who had done – and was probably still doing – human experimentations. _Perhaps,_ Jiriaya thought, _it's time to give up on my foolish dreams and put an end to the madness._

The white-haired man scowled as he refocused on the blank stare of Death. "Why's my help necessary? You're Death. You find and collect souls for a…" Jiraiya trailed off. He had been going to say _'for a living'_, but seeing as he was talking about _Death_, it just didn't sound right. "You don't need mortal help, because you're immortal. You're all-knowing. You're the freaking _god_ of things dead and dying."

"I am," Death stated. "However, the human I search for is neither dead nor dying, as you put it. He has discovered a way to deceive my eyes, so I turn to you to be my eyes on this plane. Balance must be restored.

Jiriaya was in disbelief at his words. "_You…_ want _me_ to…." It was the most ludicrous thing he'd ever heard, and he would have called BS, but the uncanny resemblance to his dead student stopped him. "Look, I don't where Orochimaru is, and I can't exactly put effort into searching him out again. It's taken me years to pinpoint his exact location, and this was a _mission_. Once sensei finds out I've failed, he'll have me doing other things."

"I will wait."

The toad sage blinked as he fell into a state of shock. What did he mean he'd wait? That had not been an offer.

"There is time. I will follow you until you take me to the soul of Orochimaru."

"But—but I gotta report back to Konoha, and I can't just show up with—with you! You look like, like…!" He wanted to say 'like the dead's been raised,' or 'the living dead', but it didn't seem too appropriate. "Like Minato! You have no idea how Konoha will react! This right here is mild compared to the uproar you'll cause, I can't even imagine the chaos you'll bring!"

Death tilted his head again in an innocent gesture. "Should I change?"

"Should you change?! Hell yeah! I'm surprised Iwa hasn't already sent it's elite out to assassinate the 'revived fourth Hokage'!" Jiraiya then mumbles under breath, "Should he change, ha!"

"What should be changed?" Death asked, ignoring most of what Jiraiya had ranted about.

"Everything." The white-haired man didn't even have to think about his response, because it was just that obvious.

Death's borrowed face furrowed in confusion, and Jiraiya marveled at the first identifiable expression. "I do not understand."

"Well for starters, that hair style needs to go. People will recognize those bangs." Death's hair grew shorter, but remained just as spikey. "And the color: too bright. Also recognizable." The bright yellow turned into a golden blond. "And your face! That has Minato written all over it!" The angular face of the former Hokage shifted into a much more rounded shape, highlighting the youth of the body.

"Like this?" Jiraiya blinked. Once. Twice. Then a third time.

"You call this change? You look the same, except…" Jiraiya took a step back and really _looked_ at Death. "You know what, you do look different." It wasn't by much, and anyone who knew of the Yellow Flash would definitely take a second glance, but he did look changed. Not changed enough to claim no relation, but… _this could definitely work out_, Jiraiya thought. When Death followed him into Konoha with his current appearance, Jiraiya could claim he was Minato's long lost son named… Well, he'd figure out the name later, but it was the perfect disguise.

…There was just a couple more things that needed to be done.

"Can you change your height? Maybe make it shorter?" Death did exactly as Jiraiya asked and could now easily pull off the look of a big six-year-old or a small twelve-year-old.

Jiraiya let out an approving hum, then cautiously crept closer to Minato's 'long lost son' and pulled out a marker. "Hold still for a moment." Jiraiya grabbed hold of Death's face and carefully drew three fine lines on each side of his face. "There. People will hopefully be so distracted by what they'll think are tattoos that they won't pay too much attention to your heritage, or rather, lack thereof."

Jiraiya took a few steps back to get the whole visual of Death who remained silent throughout this process. Approving the look mentally, the toad sage checked to make sure he wasn't forgetting anything and began to walk in a seemingly random direction. "Let's head off to Konoha now." Death followed a few steps behind him at a solemn pace with his blank, emotionless stare. "…And look alive! The last thing people need to know is that the Shinigami himself is walking among them," Jiriaya grumbled.

* * *

That night, Jiraiya and Death walked the streets of a lively town on the border of Fire Country. It had been quite the dull journey, traveling with Death, but what more could he have expected. It was Death. There had been no interruptions whatsoever, no bandits, no assassination attempts, not even a stray animal. Everything seemed to have an instinctual aversion to death, and even the plants shied away whenever he was close. Death, of course, hadn't seemed to mind as he was probably used to the treatment, but it put Jiraiya on edge. Death was just too close for comfort, literally.

"Jiraiya-sama!" A female voice shouted, causing said man to freeze mid step. Normally, the sound of a female voice calling out for him made him an _extremely_ happy man, but this voice he recognized. And wherever this voice was, his female teammate was sure to be close. Jiraiya groaned inaudibly. He did _not_ need this right now.

The teenaged girl caught up to him and – was that a _pig_ in her arms. The look of disbelief on his face must have been obvious, because she smiled brightly and said, "Her name's Tonton. Say 'hi', Tonton."

"Oink!"

"Isn't she the cutest?" Shizune asked as she cuddle the pig.

"Err, yeah." It was a pig. With clothes.

"So are you looking for Tsunade-sama?" Even though the question was directed at Jiraiya, her eyes were gazing curiously at the boy accompanying him.

"Uh, no—"

"'Cause if you are, I can take you to her," she offered. "We're just having dinner, but I had to take Tonton out do her… you know, _business_."

"No, no, Shizune, that's _really_ not necessary—"

"Shizune!" A slurred, drunken voice called as a busty women stumbled out of a nearby restaurant, nearly tumbling over herself. Jiraiya cursed, this just wasn't his day. First Death showed up, then his teammate's apprentice, and now the slug princess herself. Jiraiya just couldn't catch a break.

"Tsunade-sama, look who's here!" Shizune directed the attention onto him, and Tsunade's face instantly morphed into an ugly frown.

"Who invited you here?" To be honest, Jiraiya had the same feelings, but…

"Tsunade-hime, you wound me," he pouted as he playfully grabbed at his heart. From the corner of his eyes, he caught Death looking at him with a tilted head.

Tsunade's eyebrow twitched. "I should do more than just wound you, Perv." She clenched her fist threateningly, causing her knuckles to crack.

"H-hey! Why don't we go finish dinner?" Shizune intervened, knowing something violent was about to go down. "Jiraiya-sama, you're welcome to join, too."

"Ah, that's ok, Shizune. I'll just be on my way—"

"Oh, no you won't. Not until you buy me a drink, anyway," Tsunade interrupted, narrowing her eyes at him as though she _dared_ him to reject.

"B-but Tsunade-sama, you've already had so many…"

"Hush, Shizune. One more ain't gonna kill me." The slug sanin then turned around and went back into the restaurant, Shizune following dutifully after. Jiraiya grumbled under his breath about his terrible luck, and both he and his deathly shadow began to also enter the building.

"You are not injured."

Jiraiya's attention was pulled from his moping and to the blond. Even though this was Death, and he was supposed to know everything, the toad sage realized he probably didn't understand human lingo and the works. Jiraiya would have to explain teach it to him later if he wanted this charade to work.

"I'll explain later."

* * *

About 10 minutes later, everyone was seated in a booth with a drink in front of them; Tsunade's and Jiraiya's no doubt alcoholic. Shizune fidgeted at the tense air around them, and nearly sighed in relief when food being set down broke the silence. Jiraiya and his blond-haired companion were both so _intense_.

"What're you doing around these parts, Jiraiya?" Tsunade questioned first, easing the tension.

"Just resting up for the trip back to Konoha," he replied. "When did you start a petting zoo?" He looked directly at the pig in Shizune's arms, and the teenaged girl felt her cheeks flushing.

Tsunade's brow twitched as she raised her glass to take a gulp. "When'd you start picking up strays that look like…?"

"He found me, actually. He's his son." She coughed as she choked on her drink, and Shizune hurriedly began patting her back.

"His son?! When did he have a son?!"

Jiraiya, unfortunately, hadn't exactly prepared himself to answer these questions, so racked his brain for an answer. "…before he died…?" It was lame, he knew, but it would stall enough for a few extra seconds.

"I realize that, you idiot! But to think… He hid him for so long!" Tsunade took another long guzzle of her drink, seeming to relax from the familiar taste of alcohol. "What's your name, kid?"

Jiraiya's eyes widened at that. He hadn't thought of a name yet; had totally forgotten that in order to pull this farce off, Death couldn't just go by Death the whole time. "His, um, name is…"

"I am the Sh—"

"Son of _Minato_! We know that, _kid_! But, um, you know how my student was, Tsunade," he interrupted before Death could say his real title. "He wanted something unique for his son…" Jiraiya's eyes glanced around searching for a name, practically sweating his shirt through. "Something that would stand out…" His eyes caught sight of a bowl of ramen sitting innocently in front of Shizune and inspiration hit him. "Like Naruto! Yeah, Naruto," he said a bit more calmly.

"Naruto?" both Tsunade and her apprentice said skeptically.

"Like," Tsunade reached her hand over into Shizune's ramen bowl and held a piece of the food up, "this Naruto?"

"Y-yeah. Naruto Uzumaki, to be exact."

The slug sanin sighed as she shook her head. "That boy… Then again, what can you expect with you as his sensei?"

"Hey, I resent that!"

A childish argument was going to break out, but the shy voice of Shizune spoke up. "Um, Naruto-san? Why do you have whiskers?"

* * *

At the end of their late dinner, Jiraiya and 'Naruto' walked away from their impromptu dinner guests.

"That was a close one, but it was a nice save by the Great Jiraiya," he chuckled lowly as he congratulated himself for his quick thinking. Then he glanced at Death and scowled lightly. "No thanks to you. What were you thinking introducing yourself like that? You can't just go parading around as Death!" he whispered harshly as they traveled through the streets.

"I did not know."

Jiraiya grumbled, "And to think I called you all-knowing… Anyways, that's not important anymore. What's important now is that you know your new name… and how to act more human. I _know_ they thought you were… a bit _off_, to put it nicely."

"Their minds said I was a 'weird, quiet child' who they 'wouldn't want to ever come across again'. They also wondered why I had marker on my face and think I'm foolish."

Oh yeah, Death could read minds.

"I can," he confirmed unnecessarily.

"You gotta stop that. Normal humans can't read other humans' minds." Jiraiya purposely didn't mention the Yamanaka clan. "And those two don't know anything… The marker is a good distraction. But anyways, if you're gonna travel with me, you got to at least pretend to be human…" Jiraiya sighed, "We'll just have to work on that before we reach Konoha, I guess."

Jiraiya set off toward an Inn with 'Naruto' following closely behind at his usual solemn pace. It had not been the craziest day of his life, but it definitely ranked high on the list.

"And what have I told you about looking alive!"

* * *

**What do you think would make 'Naruto' more human?**

Story _very loosely_ inspired by Meet Joe Black btw.


	2. Meet Humanity

**Meet Naruto Uzumaki**

Chapter 2: Meet Humanity

* * *

_Lesson 1: Look Alive!_

"Alright, in order to be more human, you need to stop looking so _dead_," Jiraiya said as turned to face Death – er, Naruto, he corrected. He really needed to stop referring to Death as Death or he'd slip up sooner or later. They had ten days to get this right. Ten days to humanize Death, and ten days to learn his new name, because then they would arrive in Konoha, and that's when the show started.

"I appear to be a live human," Naruto defended.

"Maybe in skin, but your eyes! They're like voids of darkness that just suck you into the belly of the…" _Shinigami_, he wanted to say… It made sense though, considering this _was_ Death he was talking about. "You need to brighten them up, and I know this sounds vague, but you need to give them life."

Naruto's eyes shifted into the brightest, sparkling shade of blue Jiraiya had ever seen in anyone' eyes. "Do I 'look alive' now?" Naruto asked.

Jiraiya's eye twitched. "Just because you make your eyes shine with color, doesn't mean they shine with life! You need to be impassioned! You need to feel joy or rage or sadness or _something_, and it'll make you radiant! If you master this, we could walk into Konoha right now and nobody would be none the wiser about you being Death."

"How? What does it mean to feel those emotions?" Naruto asked curiously with a tilted head. If there was one thing the toad sage could say about 'Naruto', it was that he definitely had mastered the innocent puppy look. With a little more work, he could probably master the dreaded puppy dog eyes, too.

"It means your human," Jiraiya said simply, "which means, it's going to be that much harder for you since you're not." Jiraiya then sat down to relax in the warm sun of the afternoon. It was stressful work disguising Death – Naruto, he reminded himself – as a human. Luckily, they hadn't had any more significant run-ins with other people since departing from Tsunade and her apprentice, but who knew how long this luck would last…?

"I do not," Naruto answered. "Such knowledge would be another Kami's domain."

Jiraiya's eye twitched as his face became pinched. "Stop that! How many times do I have to tell you not to read minds? It's not human!" the white-haired man said exasperatedly as he refocused his attention on death.

How to was he supposed to make Naruto human?

What emotions could he feel?

Naruto opened his mouth to answer his internal questions, but Jiraiya quickly interrupted. "_Don't_ answer that." He sighed as he racked his brain for ideas. "Hey, Dea—Naruto. Laugh."

"Laugh?"

"Yeah, laugh. You know, ha ha ha!" Jiraiya chuckled boisterously as an example.

Death did his signature head tilt and laughed – or at least _tried_ to laugh. "Ha ha ha," he said mechanically.

"What was that? That wasn't a laugh! You sound like a robot!" Jiraiya scolded him. "Laughs aren't just, 'ha ha ha'," he mocked. "Laughs come from the diaphragm!" He laughed again as another example. "Now, try again."

"Ha ha ha!"

Jiraiya slapped his hand against his forehead in exasperation. All Naruto's laugh had done was gain in volume.

"Alright, alright," he said, stopping the robotic laughter. "How about we do something simpler, like… Smile!" Jiraiya put his pearly white teeth on display as he grinned. Naruto's face twitched in show of his attempts. His lips parted to show teeth like Jiraiya had, but it ended up looking like a bad mix of constipation and a snarl.

"Uh, yeah. Stop that," the toad sage demanded, feeling a bit disconcerted. "You'll scare everyone away with your face like that."

Naruto's face relaxed back into its neutral position. "But I must look human. I must appear to be 'alive'."

Jiraiya had to give him props for determination, at least. "We'll work on that later…"

* * *

_Lesson 2: No to Mindreading!_

There were six days until they reached Konoha, and Jiraiya and Naruto could be found walking on a dirt path to the nearest village. It had been hard work training Naruto to smile – and it still looked very stiff and constipated – but it was much better than it had been at the beginning.

_Much, much better,_ Jiraiya conceded.

"I believe so, too," Naruto agreed, causing Jiraiya to sigh grumpily.

"Humans don't mind read." The toad sage spun around to face his companion. "Why can't I get that through your thick skull?" he grumbled lowly.

"I do not mind read. Human thoughts flow unguarded in currents around them."

Jiraiya frown at the explanation. "Then you have to ignore it. You bring too much attention to yourself when you do that… not to mention it's freaky and people like their privacy." Even the Yamanakas, who could read minds, didn't just go around viewing people's thoughts on a whim.

"Ok," Naruto agreed easily, causing Jiraiya to look at him skeptically.

"So if I think…" _What's your name? _"How do you reply?" Jiraiya quizzed staring Naruto in the eyes.

"My human name is—"

"No! You don't reply. It was an internal question!" Jiraiya sighed in frustration at the lack of progress. "Ok." _What do you think about trying one more time? _Jiraiya asked, hoping this time Naruto would get it right, lest he start getting gray hairs early. This 'kid' required much more of his patience than the genin teamed he'd trained.

The white-haired man waited a good three minutes for a response, but never received one, and he nearly smiled at that. "Good." Now if only Naruto could ignore the thoughts all the time… but then again, this was _Naruto _aka_ Death._ _He won't be able to handle it_, Jiraiya thought with narrowed eyes.

"I will."

Jiraiya sighed, frowning. "You were supposed to ignore that…"

"I forgot." Naruto's lips turned up into his stiff smile, which made Jiraiya highly doubt that he simply 'forgot'.

From the looks of it, it looked like Death was a jokester. "Ha ha, very funny," Jiraiya muttered, turning away from Naruto to walk on the trail again. "I need a break at a nice, relaxing hot spring."

Research, after all, waited for no one.

* * *

_Lesson 3: The Exceptions!_

The stealth of an indignant woman would make any kunoichi proud.

The self-proclaimed super pervert half groaned, half giggled as he watched the backsides of the retreating women who had pummeled him. Of course, he had easily escaped before they could do any… _lasting_ damage, but… he turned narrowed eyes to his tagalong. For all his mindreading abilities, the blond hadn't warned him about the suspicion the women had of being watched.

"I did not know you wanted me to warn you," Naruto defended.

"Oh, so _now_ you decide to read minds…" Jiraiya grumbled.

"You said it was not humanlike, so I _ignored_ them."

"That's good and all, but when someone's about to be beaten, you gotta tell a guy," Jiraiya pouted. "Look at what they've done to me!" He dramatically waved at himself.

"But you said—"

"Yes, yes, I know what I said, but there are exceptions. This is one of them."

"Peeping on females is an exception?" He asked skeptically.

"No, not 'peeping on females'. Research!" the Sanin corrected.

"Research is the exception?"

"Yes!"

"Ok."

Jiraiya giggled perversely at having corrupted Death himself. Things were looking up it seemed.

* * *

_Lesson 4: Talking is Good!_

"Now, to address your social problems," Jiraiya began as they walked the busy streets of a village four days away from Konoha. "We should probably work on you talking less formally and more casually, but I think it'll be best if we start you off on being social. You're too quiet for your own good, and it makes people wary because of this dark atmosphere you have around you. Now, don't get me wrong, there are humans that don't talk much, but it's usually one of a few reasons. Either they're shy, angsty, or mute."

"Which am I?" Naruto asked curiously.

"None. You're Death," the toad sage said simply as if that explained everything. "So to combat your deathly qualities, you need to be a social butterfly." Jiraiya stopped walking and gazed around the area in search of something. "Alright, you see that lady over there?" He pointed to an elderly woman carrying groceries. "She looks like she could use some help. So go over there and offer her some assistance." He gave Naruto a push in her direction and belatedly whispered, "And be social!"

Naruto stumbled over to the struggling lady and just observed her with a tilted head. Jiraiya slapped his head and groaned about how awkward his companion was.

"Oh!" the old woman said a little startled. "What can I help you with, young man?"

"I will help you," Naruto said, holding out his arms for her to fill with bags.

The woman smiled gratefully. "What a nice boy you are…" she complimented as she gave him a bag, leaving her with two. The two began walking, and Jiraiya followed, mouthing the word 'talk' to the blond. Naruto continued to remain silent, so Jiraiya assumed he didn't know what to do.

"Ask how she is," he whispered loudly, hoping the woman's hearing was horrible.

"How are you?"

Jiraiya sighed in exasperation. It had sounded like a confused question, where he was questioning the question itself.

"Oh, I'm old, but still kickin'! The weather's been nice on these old bones, and I reckon I've got a few years of life left in me yet," She responded, causing Naruto to look at her strangely.

"You will live only a few months longer…"

"What?" was the shocked response of both Jiraiya and the woman. The toad sage thanked his lucky stars they had wandered into a less densely populated area.

"You do not have years to live," he repeated as the woman dropped her bags and backed away from the boy.

"Y-You _evil_ child! The spawn of demons themselves!" The woman hobble as fast as her old legs would take her, groceries forgotten. Jiraiya quickly grabbed Naruto and made a quick retreat. As they fled from that village sooner than expected, Jiraiya's brow twitched in obvious irritation.

"She seemed… frightened."

"Well, yeah! You can't just tell someone they're gonna die and expect them to be ok with it," Jiraiya scolded. "Human's value life, or at least, most of us do."

"Oh."

Jiraiya sighed deeply. "You've still got a lot to learn."

* * *

**Next stop: Konoha!**


	3. Meet Konoha

**Meet Naruto Uzumaki**

Chapter 3: Meet Konoha

* * *

"Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"…Yes, Jiraiya-sensei…"

"Good. Let's go."

* * *

Walking to the Hokage Tower, Jiraiya ignored the whispers of Konoha citizens. Neither the ninja nor the civilians could hide their curiosity, not that they were trying to with their blatantly obvious stares, but the toad sage couldn't blame them. Anyone who was alive to see the fourth Hokage was probably under the impression that this was his son, and thus probably thinking of ways to get into the 'boy's' good graces.

_If only they knew…_

"Alright," Jiraiya began when they reached their destination. "Now when we get up there, don't do… or _say_ anything that will give the old guy a heart attack. I need to explain the situation to him."

"You will tell him my true title?"

"Yeah. It'll be easier to keep this charade up if we have an extra set of eyes just in case something goes wrong," Jiraiya explained as he grabbed Naruto's shoulder. In a swirl of leaves, they vanished from the nosey gazes of the citizens and reappeared on the windowsill of the Hokage's office.

"Sarutobi-sensei!" Jiraiya greeted as he stepped through the open window. The man dressed in white robes startled as he quickly hid a book in his desk drawer. He spun in his chair to face his new arrivals, and a look of relief crossed his face.

"Oh! Jiriaya, it's just you." Sarutobi cleared his throat as he straightened himself in his chair. "Is there a reason you can't use the door like everyone else?"

Jiraiya looked sheepish as he walked in front of his desk. "Where's the fun in that?"

Sarutobi was about to scold him like he had many times in the past, but the sight of a blond boy walking next to his student made him pause. "Jiraiya, who is this and why does he look like…?"

"It's a long story, Sensei."

So Jiraiya recounted his tale to his teacher and could only watch as his face transformed into regret over the failed battle with Orochimaru, to disbelief when he spoke of the deal.

"So _he_… appeared to you as a clone of Minato, and you had the brilliant idea to alter his appearance to look like his son?" Jiraiya winced at how absurd the story sounded even to his own ears.

"His _long lost_ son," Jiraiya corrected, causing his sensei to look at him sternly. "Look, I know it's farfetched, Sensei, but—"

"I believe you," Sarutobi said, causing Jiraiya's jaw to drop.

"You… you do? All of it?" It shouldn't have been that easy to convince his sensei.

"Yes."

"Why?"

Hiruzen Sarutobi, also known as The Professor, took a deep inhale of the tobacco in his pipe. "I know for a fact that Minato and Kushina didn't have any kids together before their unfortunate end. Neither did they sire any illegitimate kids with any other person." Jiraiya thanked his lucky stars that his sensei was such a logical person.

"Huh. And I had prepared a whole speech for you and everything… Damn."

Sarutobi chuckled good-naturedly at his student's disappointment, then became serious as he gazed at the young blond. "Was it wise, though, to bring… Naruto here to Konoha, surrounded by people?"

Jiraiya knew the question was really asking about the liability Naruto presented to life in general, so the toad sage attempted to recall all of his time spent with Naruto to accurately gauge his lethality. "He's virtually harmless, Sensei. Hasn't hurt even a fly since he's been with me." _Physically_, anyway. So he's scarred a few folks mentally, it technically wasn't a lie.

Sarutobi raised his brow in skepticism, showing all the wrinkles in his old forehead. "Still, I can't in good conscience subject the people of Konoha to his presence."

"It's just until I leave, Sensei."

Sarutobi sighed as he crossed his hands in front of his face, eyeing the duo. All his mind kept picturing was the inevitable bloodbath that would occur if he allowed Death access to his village.

"I will kill no one." The sound of a young boyish voice interrupted Sarutobi's thoughts. The old man narrowed his eyes at the implications of the statement.

"Heh, I forgot to tell you, Sensei. He can read minds," Jiraiya informed, attempting to diffuse the rising ire of his sensei.

_It seems there are no secrets from Death_, Sarutobi concluded. As he examined the innocent looking boy, he came to a decision he hoped he wouldn't regret later.

"Can you give me your word that you will kill no citizen of Konoha?"

"It is my duty to collect the souls of the dead, nothing more," Naruto explained, and his answer satisfied Sarutobi.

"I see. Then you are welcome here, though I must ask: What is happening to the souls of those dying now that you are here?"

"Do not worry. They have not been neglected."

What that meant, neither Jiraiya nor Sarutobi had a clue, but they did not question it. Who were they to question the way Death handled his duties? If he wanted to hang out in their world and act as human, then they would do as he said and not worry about it.

"Ok… Anyways, Sensei, since this has been settled, I was wondering if you could 'find' some paperwork for my student here."

The Professor raised a brow as he puffed out some smoke. "Your student?"

"Yeah. People will ask less questions if they think he's my student. They'll think that since he's the son of my former student, I decided to raise and train him to be just as great as the famed Yellow Flash. Thus, the reason they've never seen him."

Sarutobi rubbed soothing circles in his forehead, as he processed Jiraiya's idea. "I don't understand your logic, Jiraiya, but you seem to have lasted this long with… Naruto. Just this once… I will do as you ask," he complied. He then leaned back in his chair, his face grave. "Though for the sake of humanity, I truly hope you don't do something foolish to reveal the identity of Death. Should he ever be discovered, know that the havoc brought about will likely be the end of the world as we know it. People will be hard pressed to resist the chance of immortality…"

Sarutobi turned wizened eyes onto Death himself, as if hoping to transfer the severity of the situation with his gaze alone. The blond simply stared back at him with sparkling blue, emotionless eyes.

"I won't disappoint you, Sensei." It was strange how, even though Jiraiya was over 40 years old, his sensei could still make him feel like that young, inexperienced genin aspiring for his teacher's approval.

Sarutobi nodded in acceptance of his answer. "Report back here at noon for your new assignment. Unfortunately, I cannot allow you to put full focus on your quest with Naruto, but I will see what I can do to lessen the workload."

"Yes, Sensei." Jiraiya turned to leave with his deathly shadow through the office door, but was stopped by his teacher's voice.

"Oh! And Jiraiya, one last thing before you go…"

"What?"

"Why does Naruto have whiskers on his face?"

* * *

The next day, Jiraiya was preparing to leave the hotel room he had rented for a few days. Naruto was sitting on one of the two beds, simply watching with emotionless eyes as the toad sanin put on his head guard. Why many of the humans of this area wore such things was lost on Naruto, but he didn't judge. Or rather, he didn't care. Human mannerisms were as strange as the humans themselves, so he didn't question it. Jiraiya had told him a few days ago to just 'go with the flow', so he did.

"I have to meet with sensei, so you stay here," Jiraiya ordered as he turned to face the blond. "Konoha knows you exist, but just in case they ask any questions, I'd like to be present."

_You never know what kind of questions a person will ask_, Naruto heard from Jiraiya's thoughts.

"Ok."

The white-haired man narrowed his eyes at the blond in response. "Right here," he repeated. "Don't leave the room. Don't even answer the door. Or make any noise that will give you more attention than you already have."

_Not that I have to worry about that considering how quiet you are… Deathly quiet,_ Jiriaya chuckled internally, causing Death to tilt his head in curiosity. He did not understand the humor of what Jiraiya was thinking, but he ignored it. It wasn't the first time a human had laughed randomly.

"I will not leave… Jiraiya-sensei."

The toad sage exhaled deeply and said before he vanished in a swirl of leaves, "Alright. I'll be back."

Naruto knew he was being truthful, because he couldn't detect any deceitful thoughts from him… not that he had detected many from the man, yet. Jiraiya was definitely one of the more honest humans he'd come across, and not too bad either – at least, for a human.

So Naruto simply waited for Jiraiya as the man had asked. It wasn't hard to do unlike all the human exercises the man had him practicing. It seemed Jiraiya badly wanted him to 'fit in' with the humans, but Naruto didn't mind. It was… _different_ attempting to be human; a whole new experience from simply gathering their souls. Humans were just so complicated with their way of interacting and their smiles and such. Other Kami would definitely have an easier time with 'becoming human', since they watched over the living humans everyday…

Suddenly, he felt a pull, and Naruto's head turned toward the East, which was the direction it came from. It seemed as though a particular soul was extremely unwilling to depart this plane.

_I do not have the power, Master, _a breathy whisper said. There was no one in the hotel room with Naruto, but the blond didn't need a face to identify the voice. Perhaps, had Naruto been human, he would've sighed in frustration, but as a deity who knew little about human expressions, he didn't. He simply stood up with an unblinking gaze as he was engulfed by shadows. His seeming existence phased out of the room, leaving it empty and untouched.

He appeared moments later out of thin air in a light colored room. Two beds were positioned in the middle of the room, separated by a cream colored curtain, but Naruto paid no attention to the layout. He had eyes only for the person on the far end of the room, surrounded by a medical team attempting to keep him alive.

"Hold him down!" the head doctor shouted to the nurses as he tried to administer a muscle relaxant to his patient. He couldn't do anything with the severe seizures the man was having.

Naruto walked at a solemn pace to the bed but did not go unnoticed by an unoccupied nurse. "Young man, you can't be here!" The nurse moved to grab him, but found herself frozen in place by just a single look. His gaze held her own until she fell to the ground with eyes widened in fright, and he decided his job would be much easier if the humans couldn't see him. They were always trying to preserve life…

His corporal form faded, and in its place stood his regular form of Death, not seeable by the average human's eyes. The Shinigami looked at the struggling human and pulled free the soul from the body. "Rest, human," he commanded. Instantly, the body stopped all movement, and the soul faded from its opaque white to nothing at all.

Death watched as the humans struggled to revive the body, unaware of the amount of time that passed. Then again, time was no factor for a deity such as himself… He had forever, after all. So he lingered over the body until it was removed from the room, covered in a white sheet, and wondered why humans tried so desperately to sustain life. They were mortals destined to die the moment they were born, so why? Why try? He couldn't understand the rationale behind the humans' motives… why they always attempted to escape his grasp…

Death materialized moments later as the human Naruto, not that anyone realized it. The room had emptied pretty quickly after he had collected the soul, but that was nothing new for Naruto. No mortal creature remained where Death visited.

The now blond-haired boy gazed around the room one last time before exiting through the same door the body had. It was a shame he didn't know the location of the hotel room he shared with his… sensei. Of course, he could easily locate the man, but Naruto knew the human, Hiruzen Sarutobi, didn't want him around for his meeting with Jiraiya. He had heard it in the man's thoughts, not that he knew that.

As Naruto walked out of Konoha's Hospital, he figured Jiraiya would find him… eventually. Like Naruto had stated earlier: There was no rush for anything; he had time. Besides, he wanted to explore the human establishments…

Perhaps attempt socializing again to perfect his human appearance.

* * *

"You plan to do what?" Jiraiya asked with extreme disbelief. After being informed about the newest situation in Konoha by the Hokage and his council, the toad sage wasn't completely certain his ears _weren't_ playing ticks on him.

"Eliminate the Uchiha clan," a heavily scarred man repeated. Danzo Shimura was no stranger to the death, no shinobi was, but to hear him speak of killing off a clan of Konoha so easily…was disgusting. It was as though the man _wanted_ to eradicate one of the two founding clans of Konoha.

"Is there no alternative? No peaceful way of going about this?" Jiraiya questioned

"The Uchiha clan seems to be adamant about usurping the power over Konoha," a woman by the name of Koharu Utatane explained. "We'd rather not destroy the element of surprise we have over them. They don't know we are aware of their traitorous plans, so are unconcerned and unprepared for any actions will take against them."

"It's to our advantage," Homura Mitokado summed up.

It made sense, but to eradicate the whole clan… Jiraiya turned his gaze to his sensei who had been quiet throughout the whole explanation. His face was that of a hardened shinobi, but his eyes betrayed the tiredness that came with being in power too long. The Sandaime had witnessed many lives be sacrificed for the sake of Konoha; had seen the careers of many genin begin and end all too quickly. He had ordered the deaths of many people and truly felt he was too old for this job, but instead of him saying, 'I resign,' he simply said:

"I agree."

Had Jiraiya been any other person, he might've felt disappointment for his teacher's decision, but he didn't. Instead, he was neutral like any respectable ninja would be. Killing was a part of the job. Everyone knew that.

"The reason you have been briefed on the situation, Jiraiya," Sarutobi began, "is so that our spy has a connection to Konoha to pass along information after the mission is completed. You're mission is to cooperate with him, so that his true allegiance to Konoha won't be discovered."

"And who, exactly, is this spy?" The toad sage asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Itachi Uchiha, the Uchiha clan's prodigy."

* * *

Hours after the shocking meeting, Jiraiya found himself returning back to his hotel room. An empty hotel room. An empty hotel room that he had specifically told Naruto _not_ to leave. Yet here it was with no signs of life… or rather, no signs of Death. It nearly sent the toad sage into a panic attack; where could he have gone? What havoc was he causing _now_?

Jiraiya sighed as he rushed out of the room. If Naruto ruined his disguise, then Jiraiya would… well, he wasn't quite sure what he would do yet. After all, what could be done to Death? Kill him? It wasn't even possible.

He'd figure out his course of action whenever he actually _found_ Naruto, as there was no use planning now. Well, _if_ he found Naruto, that was… Jiraiya scoffed at that. He would find Naruto, alright. Wherever people were running in fright, the toad sage was certain he'd find the blond in the center of it all.


End file.
